“I am not a stranger to the dark
-This is Me, The Greatest Showman
Hide away, they say
‘Cause we don’t want your broken parts
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one will love you as you are “
Every time I heard this song, I cried. Even under the best of circumstances, separations and divorces are hard and they take their toll on a person. My separation was no different, it left me feeling unlovable, inadequate, and like I didn’t matter. I truly felt broken in every way a person can feel broken; physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I had this song on my playlist when I first started training for the marathon and I would cry every time it came on. I would cry and run and run and cry and that’s how it went for weeks and weeks. It became my battle cry in many ways and deep down I knew, that when I could listen to that song, and not cry, I was on my way to healing. I don’t remember the exact day, but it was in August and I was running on my street and I can tell you exactly where I was on my street, and the song played and for the first time I didn’t cry. Was I healed?…No, but I was MOST CERTAINLY on my way.
“When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me”